Sherry Turkle speaks
wise words when she says, “Always-on/always-on-you devices provide
three powerful fantasies: that we will always be heard; that we can put
our attention wherever we want it to be; and that we never have to be
alone. Indeed our new devices have turned being alone into a problem
that can be solved.” …versus a mystery to be explored.
What would it mean to not be heard? How in control are you of where you place your attention? What does it mean to be alone?
Turkle’s written a
book
that explores how we are alone together. Technology’s promise is to
support our lives by making the daily tasks of work and life easier.
This should free us up for more discretionary time – to create and be
more present to ourselves and each other. It has the potential to bring
us closer together. This is all good stuff. The problem is not with the
technology but can be with us, the users, and how we interface with it.
Instead, sometimes we use technology to have little-to-no boundaries
around our work/life. If not kept in-check, we can be addicted to our
mobile devices – when we feel or have a fleeting thought, we express and
update our social media status, with little mindful processing or
editing inbetween. We can interface with ourselves and each other in
ways where we want predictability, efficiency – to wrap things up fast,
neat and tidy. We want to hit the delete button on our humanity function
so we don’t have to deal in the ambiguous realm of what it means to be
in true relationship. It can be emotional, messy and unpredictable.
Technology gives us a feeling of being in control and a sense that we
have a quality of communication and depth of connection that is not
possible in sound bites over the air waves. Technology has it’s place but it should not replace face-to-face
human relationships or real voice-to-voice dialogue. Looking into the
eyes of your neighbor or co-worker is not the same as skyping them.
We can’t truly connect with others unless we are connected to
ourselves. Solitude allows one to reflect and get to know themselves.
This requires a deep, quiet listening. It facilitates a processing where
we come to explore, discover and understand what we really think and
feel about our lives. We hear our own voice versus allowing it to be
obliterated or swayed by the din of social media.
When we have this connection within ourselves, we can be more present
and connect with others in deeper and more meaningful ways. When we
don’t have this reservoir to draw from within, we look for it to be
filled on the outside. A void within can never permanently be filled
from outside and a danger is we can end up living someone else’s life
versus aligning with our own.
I’ve come across a number of blogs recently where the blogger talks
about feeling alone and his/her community of readers then say, “we love
you.” Having a virtual life does not replace a real life in flesh. It
seems spending REAL time with people is a lost commodity amidst mobile
devices and constant social media chatter.
So, I invite you, on this day in spring (in the Western Hemisphere),
to go outside and feel the grass beneath your toes, smell the bursting
flowers and hear the birds chirp, and have a sit down. Soak in the sun
or sit under the eaves in the rain. Just take it in and reflect. When
you’ve sat a spell, go down the street to your neighbor or down the hall
to your co-worker and have an old fashion conversation. Look into their
eyes and ask about their day. Now, how do you feel? What additional
information or insight did you receive?
© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved. www.sagelead.com
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