Focus Friday: What to Do When You’ve Plateaued.

Tony Robbins gives great advice if you’ve hit a plateau, are in a rut, or too comfortable. You need something to get your mind and body going again.

• Read Something Inspirational.
• Engage in Intense Physical Activity.
• Be Crystal Clear on Goals & Learn from Great Role Models.
• Give Service.

This is all great advice. People can support you but ultimately it is up to you to make things happen and change your life. Getting inspired opens up your mind. Exercising energizes your body. Getting clear and seeing someone else do what you want creates a clear pathway. Giving service helps put things in perspective and generates good will.

Reflection question: What is one thing you can do today to shift your life?

© Copyright 2016 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC. All rights Reserved.

A Leader’s Job: Holding Anxiety While Making Wise Decisions

President Obama’s Commentary on Syrian Refugee Crisis

I have always considered myself to be a-political, but I am also someone who fights for causes I believe in. Regardless of where you stand on Obama’s position, or the situation in the Middle East and Paris, here is what struck me about this clip:

The job of a leader is to hold and transform the anxiety that’s coming at them from all directions: from the people they lead and those they don’t lead, but who are watching closely.

The energy of anxiety is really about fear of the future. No one can predict the future accurately 100% of the time – not even those who claim to be psychic. A leader assesses the situation and makes his best decision based upon the information he has in that moment. He never has all the information he wants. Given the volatility and magnitude of suffering in the world, a lot can change in a day, an hour, a minute.

During much of Obama’s challenging tenure, I have found his approach to be inspiring. While I don’t always agree with where he lands, I do find that he tries to view complex situations from many angles, using logic and usually keeping a measured, calm exterior. These are attributes you expect in a Chief Executive.

My intent is not to get into a political discussion, but to provoke self-reflection – think about areas where you lead people in your life – your family, your organization or your community. It’s easy to lead when things are going well. The true test of leadership is in the most challenging of times. People gladly try to push their own anxiety onto others because it is so uncomfortable. And it’s easy to be critical of a leader when you aren’t the one leading a very tense, difficult situation.

When your own anxiety is high, it can be near impossible to be in a wise, open, creative space, so self-management is key. How do you hold and manage your own stress and that of others? What do you do to manage your anxiety when the pressure is on? What do you do to reduce other people’s anxiety, while giving them faith and hope in your proposed direction?

© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.

Follow up Friday: Noticing is Hard!!

On Monday, I asked you to JUST NOTICE. NOTHING ELSE!

Nothing to do or not do.

Just notice your thoughts.

How hard is this and not do anything about them?

How hard is this – and then to manage the emotions that surface as a result of these thoughts?

Hard.

Which is why we often would rather “dumb down.”
Aka Not pay attention.

When we pay attention, we notice things that may be hard …

Or we don’t like…
Or we want to change…
Or, etc.

Thoughts can bring up anxiety, fears and all sorts of emotions and judgments.

For me, I noticed I still have some residual of a thought pattern I have been working on for a while now. Sometimes these patterns can clear completely and sometimes they linger and are part of an enduring life lesson.

For me the recurring theme of thoughts had the word “enough” in it…. Be enough, have enough, do enough, earn enough, have enough stuff, etc… It was all about needing more of something. Wow, that can be exausting – to have it constantly running in the foreground or background of my mind. At some level, always nagging me.

Guess what I learned? I’m not alone! I have company with family, friends and clients who are also playing this broken record.

Time to shift it!

On Monday we’ll talk about the next step in creating a shift…

© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.

Follow-up Friday: What Does Magic Mean to You?

My reflection question was not only what does magic mean to you, but where do you find it at play in your life?

I’ve given lots of thought to this question and decided that when I experience synchronous events, it feels magical to me. You know when you think about someone and they call you in that instant. Magic can be my mindset or a feeling that allows me to shift my perspective at will – to see the possibilities versus the dangers. It can be those times when we have an insight and something has shifted that has opened up a new way of seeing a person or a situation that we didn’t have access to before.

The last few days I have been participating in an intensive development program focused on how I can improve my own leadership and the running of my business. I have been doing a lot of networking at this program and, while I am meeting a lot of people, the real magic has happened when I let my guard down, am vulnerable and authentic, connecting with people in a genuine way. Magic happens when I am out of my comfort zone. At these times, I’ve found that I discover that we have a lot in common – either in business perspectives or with personal interests.

I made a commitment today to invest in this development program at the next level. This was a scary and exciting step for me, not only because of the large financial investment, but also in terms of the magic I am inviting in – the potential to allow myself to be transformed by the work, stepping up to my next leadership challenge. Magic can start with accepting an invitation to change. Then we never know where it will lead us…

 © Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.

Grief & Peace: Recovery and Re-emergence

In honor of Global Peace Day & The Autumnal Equinox, I am restarting my blog.

The last time I wrote was the day of the Sandy Hook tragedy. I live 10 minutes from there and know many people directly effected by the events and the lives lost. In the last three years, I’ve learned much about myself and my community’s capacity to be resilient, to move from grief to finding some peace.

The first step to world peace is to create more peace within yourself. As Gandhi said, “be the change you wish to see in the world.”

I don’t know if it’s possible to find absolute peace. Maybe the point is to find more peace, more often and experience it longer. What I do know is, fostering peace starts with owning your thoughts, feelings and reactions. When we can manage what goes on within ourselves, we can better manage our outer world. So too, events outside ourselves trigger thoughts and emotions, so it is a constant dynamic process tending to inner reactions and outer events.

At the time of Sandy Hook I was already awash in my own grief struggling to stay focused on work while I processed numerous simultaneous personal losses (including death of my father, a close friend, and estrangement from some family members). I do not mean to put my personal losses in the same category as Sandy Hook. This was a horrific event that sent shock waves around the world. My point is that, for me, it added to an already full cup of grief and pain I was processing.

In the weeks that followed, I wanted to help so volunteered my services (in addition to leadership consulting, I also teach yoga, meditation and do energy healing work). Giving service helped me process and put my own life in perspective. My neighbors got active as well. There was much advocacy done to reduce gun violence and better address mental health services. There is still much work to be done – but progress has been made. When people are angry and grieving healing can be facilitated by taking action.

If we can tend to what is within us with care, we are better able to attend to what lies before us and lead with a fuller heart. Today, we need leaders to not just have the mental capacity to solve complex problems but those who “get it” – who bring compassion so solutions are more sustainable for us and the planet.

As with many of my neighbors, I’ve gone through my own personal transformation. This means: trans – formed – to go beyond how you were formed. Inherent in this is a searching, questioning and an internal reconfiguring. This process can bring tears and the expression of strong emotions, not just rationally plowing through getting stuff done on the long “to do” list. We live in a popular culture that does not understand grief and value the internal life – how to tend to our “being” vs. “doing.”

Invitation: Take inventory this week and notice what is holding you back from feeling more at peace in your life? What needs tending to in your inner life? Do you have unexpressed grief? Are you driving yourself to get everything done but really feel depleted and drained?

Just notice what comes up. I will reflect on these questions as well and share in a post on Friday.

© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.

Leadership and Your Amygdala

The amygdala is an almond-shaped structure that sits in the front part of the temporal lobe of the brain, as part of the limbic system. It performs a primary role in processing of memory and emotional reactions. The reactions could be positive or negative emotions that can be instantaneous and overwhelming depending upon the stimuli and your associations to the stimuli.

There are few downsides to strong positive emotional reactions when leading people. Strong negative emotions could be anger or frustration or an inappropriate degree or expression of these emotions based on present circumstances. Obviously when leading people these kind of reactions can cause damage to your relationships.

When you have been “hijacked” by your amygdala you are in the full throws of an irrational emotional reaction which means your executive functioning has shut down. Your emotions are in control of you versus you managing them. “Amygdala hijack” is a term that Daniel Goldman coined in his book Emotional Intelligence.

Here are a few things you can do to prevent or minimize your reactions and/or recover more quickly once you realize you’ve been hijacked:

In the moment, to recover:

1. Work on your physiology. Take a deep breath in to the count of 8, hold your breath for 8, breath out for 8 and hold your breath out for 8.

2. Place your hands in front of your solar plexus with all your fingertips touching (thumb to thumb, pinky to pinky, etc.). Take a deep breath in at the count of 4 through your mouth like you are sucking on a cool mint. Hold your breath for 16 counts. Exhale through your nose at 8 counts. Do this for at least 3 cycles.

3. Laugh. At first it will be a forced laugh. Stick with it for 20 seconds and typically it will move to a genuine laugh with others joining you – and not knowing why! This breaks up your energy and re-orients you and those around you.

4. If none of the above work, then physically remove yourself from the situation, preferably going for a walk in fresh air. It will clear your mind and channel your physical energy.

For prevention: longer-term, start to notice what triggers intense reactions in you and work to minimize the associations and reactions.

1. Explore what memories they are associated to and reprogram yourself with positive associations.

2. Develop a strong positive mantra (statement of affirmation) that you repeat to yourself in the moment to thwart an attack.

3. Meditate – this can reset your neural set point.

Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.

Leaning into Discomfort: A Core Competency in The 21st Century

The 21st century socially-networked, information-flooded world today requires a multi-dimensional approach to leadership and influencing your constituents.

Although I am quoting from an article in the Nonprofit Quarterly, and the examples referenced are the current debate on women’s reproductive health and other social movements, there are key points that are relevant for leaders of all sectors.

Decide what applies to you as you navigate the whitewaters of organizational change today:

“…leaning into discomfort, I think, is critical, to make sure that what we are doing …is bold enough. The organization had better be feeling discomfort if it’s leaning into new strategies and ways of working….

“You have always to ask, Am I pushing for the change that’s really needed? On all of those levels, you have to continually refresh and check and make sure that you’re getting the most power for the mission by being as uncomfortable as possible. Because change is hard, and the reason why you have to look at all those different levels—yourself, your organization, and then the world—is that if you’re not willing to hold the tension of change as an organization, how can you begin to understand what you have to risk and what others have to risk to make change happen in the world?”

“ …In a world full of current and future ambiguities, leaders have to stay nimble and ready to rebalance their organizations to fit most powerfully into a whole field/ movement strategy. The skills of consultation and engagement with other leaders inside and outside of an organization are never entirely straightforward but have to be kept moving in the right direction whenever a door seems to crack open—or needs to be cracked open.

“In connected environments, leaders know that networks are always teetering on the edge of balance, requiring many small adjustments to achieve a measure of dynamic stasis. I have found that a networked leader has to be in constant motion, paying attention to the habits and the small stimuli needed to incessantly reconstitute balance and motion. One must learn to feel the current of change, look for and recognize resonance, and deploy oneself not as prod, but as a pivot for the many moments of change that are called for every day.”

Keep moving and lean into your edge.

Enough said.

Meditate in A Moment

Here is a fun video by Martin Boroson that introduces meditating in a simple and easy way. Whether you are an advanced meditator or have never meditated, take 5 minutes to watch this clip and sink back into your skin.

Meditating is particularly good for people who are busy, stressed or already successful. Meditation is a vital skill for the leader of the 21st century. It enables you to stay in the moment to best identify where your attention should be placed deliberately versus reacting to what shouts the loudest.

In an age of relentless competing attention, rachet it down. Just for today.

Enjoy.

© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.               www.sagelead.com

Asana Part 2 – Social Entrepreneurism. What Would Buddha Say?

In my last post, I discuss Asana, the company. Founders, Moskovitz and Rosenstein are contributing to the global shift occurring on the planet right now that espouses we are interconnected, transitioning from me to we.  They are living their belief that they can turn a profit in a way that does the least harm and actually contributes to social good.

They believe groups create larger contributions to the world than individuals. They operate from the premise that all problems are solvable if we work together. “While corporations are excellent vehicles for collecting resources and making money to build better services, they are also excellent vehicles for creating joy and alleviating suffering.”

This sounds like Buddha in business attire.

Rubinstein says, “As a collective, co-creators do great things vs. human resources who extract things…. companies [should be] a means to an end to create joy on earth.”

Finally, they espouse a radical concept and departure from traditional corporate speak: Transparency of being – “let people be who they are…” don’t make them have to switch modes when they come to work.

What if you worked for a company that supported all of who you are? What if our corporate culture shifted from exploitation to working partnership to create life nurturing goods and services versus selling us things we don’t really need or want?

I heard a financial analyst the other day give an overview on his view of the economy. “We have been living beyond our means for 30 years.  We now have to lower our expectations.”

This we know. The real question is, can we come together as a nation, as a world and think differently about how we make money and about how much money we really need? Afterall, whatever you make, you can’t take it with you when you go.

© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.               www.sagelead.com

Rediscovering Solitude In a World Gone Madly Connected: Wisdom 2.0

In case you missed it, the Wisdom 2.0 Conference was held in March. It is the third of such conferences that bring “together people from a variety of disciplines, including technology leaders, Zen teachers, neuroscientists, and academics, to explore how we can live with deeper meaning and wisdom in our technology-rich age.

“The conference addresses the great challenge of our age: to not only live connected to one another through technology, but to do so in ways that are beneficial to our own well-being, effective in our work, and useful to the world.”

It’s founder, Soren Gordhamer talks about the danger of feeling disconnectedly connected. We live in a largely extroverted culture that seems to be on steroids in the current climate of social media. When you are constantly on, you can never really be on from the inside out and are in danger of burn out or overexposure. This reminds me of a guy, Dan Pearce, who blogs, Single Dad Laughing. Recently, he posted that he had over 4 million followers but felt lonely.

Feeling lonely means being cut off from people and connotes a desperation. It is not the same as being in solitude. The latter means you are by yourself but suggests a getting in touch with something deep inside yourself that you can only do when separated from people. Much can be revealed and learned when we bask in our solitude. Solitude revives and renews us. It brings us back to our vulnerability and our humanity. Solitude is a precious and underutilized – dare I say – tool – in today’s technologically-driven society.

Checkout the Wisdom 2.0 site for archived videos of insightful speakers – and then unplug, just for a while to absorb the thoughts.

© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.               www.sagelead.com

Innovation: Back To The Future

In 1974 Arthur C. Clarke predicted we would be communicating with each other from a computer on our desk. He said it would revolutionize the way we relate to one another. He even predicted we could work from anywhere.

Now that the internet, cell phones, apps, texting, etc. have realized his vision, what do you think the world will look like 38 years from now?

Will we have chips in our heads or our entire life history on a ring on our finger? How will technology continue to change the way we work and live?

What are the implications for our relationships?

What’s your prediction?

Can You Get Your Autobiography On A Page?

How would you condense the themes and patterns of your life into a short story? What have you consciously worked on to change about yourself? Where are you at with radical acceptance? I love Portia Nelson’s Autobiography:

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters  By Portia Nelson

Chapter I

I walked down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in I am lost… I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place. But, it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in… it’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.

2012 Shake Up: Crow's come a calling - mythic, symbolic or just plain old grubs?

I find exploring myths, symbolism and how stories affect us, help us create meaning and sense of our lives.
A couple days after the New Year, I was in my office when my assistant yelled to me, “Come quick! Look!”
“It’s like Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds!” Ew, I thought.

Out the bay window I saw dozens of crows descending on the property – with no apparent motive or place to go. Over the next half hour they proceeded to fly back and forth between our property and the neighbors – and then dispersed. We were curious – what’s going on, what does this mean??? We googled – A few notes:

There are a myriad of perspectives – mythical, poetic, scientific, and those we make up ourselves.

The American Society of Crows and Ravens says that crows “have nothing to do with what we think about them. Death and suicide are our problems, not theirs.”

Dr. Kevin J. McGowan from the Cornell Lab of Ornithology says, ”The poetic term for a bunch of crows is a ‘murder.’ No scientist calls them that, only poets. Scientists would call it a flock.”

One reference said crows congregate on lawns to eat grubs. But they didn’t look like there were eating. Besides, what’s different about the lawn this year than last?

A shaman site said: ”Crows are adaptable to all environments and will eat almost anything, they can survive in almost any situation. …They are surrounded by magic, unseen forces and spiritual strength. If a crow enters your life, get out of your familiar nest, look beyond your present range of vision, listen to the message(s) in its caw and act accordingly.”

I just finished a year where my house was literally turned upside down – botched home renovation infecting every room, leaving us homeless for a while – my daughter started high school, step-son started college, both my parents had major medical crises, I had a major milestone birthday and my clients went through dramatic changes. So, the upheaval of 2011 forced me to get out of my comfort zone big time – to rethink my life and business and act accordingly.

It could be grubs, but I choose to see the flock of crows as a sign for 2012 to expect the unexpected, expect surprise visitors, and if I pay attention – this “magic” can take me to a broader perspective with unforeseen possibilities.

What are you doing to ready yourself to seek and take advantage of the “magic” opportunities coming out of nowhere – or to look for the sublime in the benign?

© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.         www.sagelead.com

Innovation: What Would Grandma Say?

Yesterday as I reflected on my Grandma’s life, I learned that new technologies take longer than we think to make it to market, if at all, or to become popularized and cashed-in on their commercial value.

I’m sure you’ve heard the adage: Is there really anything new under sun?

I’m sticking with Grandma’s leadership this week: old wisdom is the new wisdom. She always said, hold onto your clothes long enough and they will come back in style. I have to admit I have some of her hats and coats from the 40s that I have worn recently!  I also wished I’d kept my fry boots – they’d be back in style and worth a fortune! Yet they were my sole present for Christmas one year when I was in high school, as my parents struggled to make ends meet raising six kids.

It’s all about perspective. Innovation is not about invention. It’s about taking an invention and making it useful, repurposing it and/or commercializing it.

So, I ask you – what exists right in front of you that you could view differently – whether it is a product, a problem, an employee, or your relationship with a family member? What is something that you can change about your life or business that would give you more money in the bank, greater productivity or satisfaction? These are different faces of the same coin. They are all about changing the energy of your current situation.

If you want your business or life to be different – The ultimate question is, how do you take what you have and make it different or conceive of it differently? This is innovation grandma-style – transform the old into the present for future wear-ability and endurance.

© Copyright 2011 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved. www.sagelead.com

Meditation Tomorrow 12-1 pm: Synchronize Your Energy

All great things are born out of chaotic, forming – creative – energy. So this is a time of great transformation potential!
How do you manage yourself amidst the chaos swirling around you – whether it is the fluctuation of the markets, your business or the temperaments of those around y ou?

You get your own energy in sync and balanced – to stay grounded and nimble in the creativity space. Be – embody – the calm in the eye of the storm.

Tomorrow, I am leading a Naam Abundance Meditation at UUCD at 24 Clapboard Ridge Road, Danbury, CT . A $12 donation goes to the space.

This is a music meditation and we will focus on synchronizing your energy to optimally take advantage of these crazy times!

Open to the public – with or without prior meditation experience. Bring a pillow, yoga mat or something comfortable to sit on.

Flying: Learning a New Skill Keeps Your Brain Vibrant and Pliable

Yesterday for my (milestone!) birthday, my husband gave me an airplane flying lesson. I’ve wanted to learn since I was 17.

I had a one hour lesson with 30 minutes in the air. This occurred two days after Hurricane Irene yet it was amazing how calm, brilliant, blue and clear the sky was. I walked away with many insights related to life and work that I will be blogging about for the next week.

Within minutes of landing in the cockpit, I was on information overload: My instructor explained the takeoff checklist, the different dashboard tools, how to steer, keep the airplane nose and tips level, etc. I enjoyed the experience knowing HE ultimately had control of the vehicle so I didn’t have to retain everything. Whew – nothing like having a safety net! Like learning to ride a bike – this was as much a visceral as an intellectual experience. I had to steer with my feet. Talk about feeling uncoordinated! I needed to get in touch with my toes while my eyes made sure I was level with the horizon.

The only way that we continue to grow is to put ourselves in situations that are stretching or foreign. If life doesn’t present us with challenging experiences then it is up to us to actively seek them out. This is how we grow beyond what we know and can do. Otherwise, we replicate the same experiences which breeds complacency and ultimately, atrophy of body or mind.

Do you want to be renewed or get a fresh perspective on your career, relationship or work project? Take on learning something new, however small. You’ll be amazed at what else you’ll learn as it keeps you young by creating new brain cells which gives you access to new insights and actions.

© Copyright 2011 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved. www.sagelead.com