What Are The Critical Questions You Ask Yourself In Chaotic, Uncertain Times?

If you are wired like most humans, when confronted with uncertainty, your questions would be oriented from your limbic brain – how to create stability, security and safety for yourself. Your questions would be oriented more toward the short-term – solving your immediate problem versus satisfying a longer-term vision of where you really want to be.

The reason for this is most people’s tolerance for uncertainty and chaos, over long periods of time, is low – their trauma or stress reactions get activated: fight, flight or freeze. Reactions often create more problems. Responses, on the other hand, can set us up in a more generative, proactive space that factors in longer-term considerations.

The question of how to navigate chaos and uncertainty surfaced for me many times this week as I navigated client meetings, coaching sessions and fielded a number of calls and inquiries from my clients and network.

Historically much of my executive coaching work has been in the context of an organization’s development efforts but I had a number of people come to me this week asking if I would coach them privately. In some cases they are still with their organization but getting, what I call restructure fatigue – a new job, different team, different responsibilities every year or less. In other cases, they have been let go, with stellar performance and outplacement, but the company has changed directions and their position was eliminated.

Here is the common denominator:
They all said in the last decade their job or company has changed significantly every 18-24 months. This required that they change what they are doing, who they are doing it for, or they leave the company because of job elimination, the company goes out of business or is acquired.

One of my clients summed it up well: “The old rules don’t apply. It used to be I pleased my boss and I got promoted. Now I don’t know if I’ll have a job, even if I give him what he asked for. It used to be I was promoted every two years. Now I am kicked out every two years.”

You’d have to be living under a rock to not experience the chaotic, disruptive, uncertain nature of the world, business and the workplace today. Change is constant.

No new news here.

What is new and critical – is that people are starting to ACCEPT that this IS the new norm. So they are no longer looking to the environment to calm down so they can get back to operating in ways that are comfortable. They are no longer expecting that a job or a company will provide them security. INSTEAD, they are asking themselves deeper and more significant questions about ways to stabilize themselves and navigate the terrain with greater clarity, ease and confidence.

Some examples:

• What now must I do?
• Who am I really and how can I navigate my way through this?
• How do I balance my own integrity with what I am being asked to do?
• How do I help my people feel better, even though we agree the situation sucks, about what I am asking them to do?
• Where do I find clarity, confidence and stability when it doesn’t exist around me?
• How do I find my true north and find a larger meaning in the day-to-day?
• How can I continually develop options/contingency plans for myself?
• How do I continue to grow my skills and develop despite what jobs come and go?
• How is my work helping me be more of the person I want and am meant to be?
• How do I stay present to what is right in front me when I am feeling so much pressure and there is so much unclear about the road ahead?
• How do I stay in the place of being creative when I want to be more comfortable?

All of the above questions get at one fundamental one: how do you keep yourself focused on the bigger picture, present and stable despite what is happening around you?

The world does not need any more information. People are in overload and overwhelm. What it needs are more present, embodied leaders who are in the moment with their constituents and the situations they find themselves collectively in. These leaders intuitively decide what their next best move is based upon who they are and what they do know, not the information they don’t have.

To paraphrase multiple conversations I’ve had with clients this week, it goes like this:

“I could go get another job. This is bigger than that. I’m having a personal crisis. This is giving me the opportunity to fundamentally think differently about myself and my relationship to my work and my career.”

In light of the above, here are some questions to consider:

• Regardless of what changes happen around you, what is the capability and value you bring to your work and your constituents?
• How can you best serve?
• What is your vision for creating a better world, workplace or more meaningful work for yourself?
• In order to live your vision, who do you need to be?
• What does this vision require you to do differently?
• In service of this vision, what kind of conversations do you allow or not to go on in your own head?
• In service of this vision, what kind of conversations do you allow/foster to take place at home, in the meeting room, in the board room?

What are the questions you ask yourself to get you the clarity, integrity and stability you need to stay steady in chaotic, uncertain times?

© Copyright 2016 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC. All rights Reserved.

What is Coaching?

Coaching can be a powerful tool for developing leaders.

If you are thinking about coaching and want to know what it is, check out this short video that gives you a quick overview on what takes place in the process.

Coaching is about creating a partnership with a coach to help you articulate your vision. The coach gives you support and tools to help you navigate all the challenges and obstacles you will face in realizing your vision. There will be times when you are stretched so far outside your comfort zone that you aren’t sure you can reach your aspiration. Coaching can help you in creating a mindset shift to enable you to persevere, be creative and get the extra support you need to achieve your goals.

The coach does not give you the answers but the tools and support you need to the find the answers and strength within yourself.

© Copyright 2016 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC. All rights Reserved.

Leadership is About Courage and Conviction

I always remember what Jack Beach, a former IBM colleague of mine once said, “It’s easy to be a leader in good times. You just go along with the flow. The sign of a real leader is seen in difficult times.” Jack was also a Colonel in the Army, having served as a psychologist during Vietnam. So he knows from which he speaks.

Courage and Conviction are attributes of a strong leader. People can talk a good game but when it comes down to it, how many really stand up for what they believe – in times of trauma, despite what others think? How many push for real change not just an incremental shift?

I saw these attributes – courage and conviction – this week with my Senator, Chris Murphy. Regardless of where you stand on gun control, it’s clear we need to figure out a compromise between those focused on more guns and protecting their second rights amendments and those concerned about public safety.

Two weeks ago I Marched in Newtown, the next town over from me, for better gun control laws. I was astounded at some of the statistics cited during the speeches. For example, in the U.S. there have been over 100,000 lives lost in the 3 ½ years since Sandy Hook. I was also deeply effected by the stories and statistics highlighted in the documentary Under The Gun. If you haven’t watched it yet, I highly recommend it.

I don’t consider myself a political person but a person who cares deeply about people. I will fight for causes I believe in and get disheartened with politics and agendas focused only on profits.
Creating a safer country is something I am wholeheartedly behind and I want to thank Chris Murphy for being the brave one to not just say it, but act on it. We have had enough. Taking a stand in heated times may divide people. One thing I think we all can agree on: no one wants their brother, mother, sister, daughter, father shot in cold blood.

It takes courage and conviction to effect change when the country is divided. Thank you Chris Murphy for taking a stand.

© Copyright 2016 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC. All rights Reserved.

Focus Friday: What to Do When You’ve Plateaued.

Tony Robbins gives great advice if you’ve hit a plateau, are in a rut, or too comfortable. You need something to get your mind and body going again.

• Read Something Inspirational.
• Engage in Intense Physical Activity.
• Be Crystal Clear on Goals & Learn from Great Role Models.
• Give Service.

This is all great advice. People can support you but ultimately it is up to you to make things happen and change your life. Getting inspired opens up your mind. Exercising energizes your body. Getting clear and seeing someone else do what you want creates a clear pathway. Giving service helps put things in perspective and generates good will.

Reflection question: What is one thing you can do today to shift your life?

© Copyright 2016 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC. All rights Reserved.

Follow up Friday: Happy New Year - Have a Deeply Satisfying New Year!

This week’s question: What is one thing that helped you navigate change this past year that you want to take with you into 2016? Or where do you need more support?

One thing that helped me navigate change last year is that I committed to a mastermind group. I’ve dabbled with different groups like this before. This time it’s different because I’m different. I more committed to this program because: a) I’m fed up with myself for not following through on a goal. B) I paid a lot of money for it. These two factors forced me to make sure I get the return on my investment. I am not looking for more work. I am looking for more meaningful work that makes a difference in how people live and work.

The standard wish today is “happy new year!” Everyone wants to be happy. I suggest it is more important to experience deep purpose and satisfaction than happiness. The latter is a fluctuating emotion day-to-day – or for some of us, hour-to-hour. But when you have a life or work that is an expression of what is deeply important to you – where you feel you can best express your true magnificence to be of value to others – you create a more sustainable way of being.

I’m not much for flashy resolutions, but I am for exercising resolve. When I google “resolve” I get to “settle or find a solution to (a problem, dispute, or contentious matter” or to “Decide firmly on a course of action.” When you are resolved, you are determined to do something. Most new year’s resolutions fail after the first 3 weeks of the year. Where does that determination go?

It gets distracted, discouraged, lost. Key questions to ask yourself are: How are you holding the space for your resolution – is it an intention? A goal? A “should do?” A Declaration?

Here is my invitation for having a resolution, goal or change stick. First, words are important. Second, change is really hard – especially if you are trying to change something that you are entrenched in – like being unemployed for too long, a diet, exercise, or a way of leading or organizing people. If you are interested in doing something bold or really different, most of the time it is really hard to go it alone. You need support – and the right kind of support.

Here are things to keep in mind:

Declare
Or Set an Intention – Get clear about what it is you really want. The clearer, the easier it is to help the universe conspire in your favor. Vague inputs, vague results. Make them clear, big, bold inputs, and those are the kind of results you will likely get in return.

Be Resolved
Exercise strong determination as if your life depended on it. Don’t take no for an answer from yourself. Commit to making it happen no matter what.

Act
Make sure you take action and are not stuck in your head – even if you need a push from your boss, colleague, spouse or friend. Get going! Do something in that direction! Perfection is overrated.

Trust
Often we want immediate, direct results. It doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes it’s a windy path or results are there but we are looking somewhere else. Don’t lose faith – keep at it!

Get Help
Getting discouraged, distracted or losing your way on “the how to” get results often happens. Plan for it. It’s part of the process. Know that if you are really trying to do something different or bold, you need a huge lift off (law of physics – energy at rest stays at rest; energy in motion builds motion). You need all the support and bolstering you can get – especially when you start to wane in your determination.

So, whether it’s a friend, colleague, coach, therapist, counselor – paid or unpaid resource – please consider getting help this year. Often times when we pay for a resource two things happen – that resource is more committed and skilled at giving you support and you are more committed to doing the work because you gave up money to get the help.

At Sage, we work with leaders who are striving to achieve stretch goals in work and life. Encountering challenges and obstacles are inevitable. We are currently booking complimentary 30 minute strategy sessions. 203-730-2103.

Dream Big. Stay Focused. Get Supported. Celebrate Wins!
Have a deeply satisfying and purposeful year!

© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.

Magic Monday: The Gap Week

Words of Manic Monday by The Bangles and modified by Susan Shaner. Musician: Dan Brodax. Where can you find the magic at work today?

Your place of business is either crazy busy this week trying to wrap up the year or very quiet with many people on vacation.

I call this week the gap between what was and what could be. That is, this is the week that we typically reflect on the past year and project or plan for the year ahead. So it includes celebrations of goals achieved, regrets for those not achieved and setting goals and resolutions for the year ahead. This word resolution actually means making a “firm decision to do or not do something.”

Most resolutions fail within the first 30 days. I believe this is because of two reasons:

1. These are goals made from the head and the place of “should” versus the heart and the place of “passion.”
2. People often don’t get the support they need to make the resolution stick.

If you are going to embark upon something bold or new that requires change, you need the right, consistent supports to overcome challenges. True, sustained change is hard – even when it’s desired change.

This week’s reflection question: What is one thing that helped you navigate change this past year that you want to take with you into 2016? Or where do you need more support?

© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.

Strategic Planning & The Power of Clicking

When you meet someone for the first time, within an instant you register a sense of them. You immediately feel a liking and want to move toward them or disliking and want to move away from them. Then you look for evidence to support this sense. Sometimes they surprise you with behavior that counters your initial gut reaction – either they grow on you or they do something that violates your trust or what “you thought you knew” about them.

When you click, you will forgive a lot. You can hear things from this person that, if said by someone else would put you in a space of denial or defense. Clicking is a short cut to getting and being in the flow, in the moment. There is no second-guessing. The dance of resistance or force doesn’t occur as it does in relationships where there is no click.

Paying attention to your gut is important. Your body doesn’t lie, but your mind might interpret the felt sense with a distorted filter. Use your conscious mind to make sure you are interpreting the signals accurately. Clicking expands your energy. If it’s positive energy, that will expand. If negative, that will expand.

When you experience the click, go with it if it lands you in an uplifting, creative and expansive place. If you click over a complaint, go with it if it helps you validate your experience. Stay with it to the extent it moves you toward focusing on constructive change. Leverage the easy, click relationships, as you will need this positive energy to manage your “nonclick” relationships.

This morning I experienced what I call a ripple effect of the click. I am enrolled in a yearlong mastermind group as part of my professional development. I clicked with two women and we formed our own support team to supplement our other activities. I got some direct feedback on things I needed to change. I believe 100% their objective is to support me without any static (competition, jealousy, hidden agendas, etc..). I was able to take in and work with this information, which took me to a more expansive place. If I doubted their intent, I would have closed down or rationalized my position. Instead, I shifted to a different mindset and energetic space.

My very next meeting was with a client with whom I click. I was able to give her direct feedback and she experienced a shift. The ideas flowed as we planned the offsite strategy meeting she is having with her leadership team in January.

This is the time for reflecting on the year past and projecting to the year ahead. Doing this with people you click with is exciting and regenerating. With people you don’t click, but need to work with, getting aligned may be more challenging, but it is crucial to your success.

Please contact me if you would like help planning or facilitating your next leadership & strategy meeting. Getting off on the right foot sets the direction and tone for the year.

© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.

Magic Monday: Part 3 of 3 – One Thought Experiment: Shifting Your Conditioning

Words of Manic Monday by The Bangles and modified by Susan Shaner. Musician: Dan Brodax.

Where can you find the magic at work today?

During the last three weeks, we focused on noticing and managing a dominant thought pattern. This week’s focus is on how to shift a pattern that is not working for you. To recap, here are the steps:

1. Notice your thoughts.
2. Understand where your thoughts come from: how these patterns define your belief system and have roots in your subconscious mind, typically conditioning from someone or somewhere else.
3. Shift a thought pattern that is not serving you in the best way.

Sometimes you can shift a pattern just by noticing it; sometimes with insight into the source of the unconscious messaging and the underlying beliefs; and sometimes you need to do some more heavy lifting over time.

To shift it over time, you need to work it in three domains: mental, emotional and physical. When you do this, you are effecting your entire energy field, which effects your vitality of spirit. So there is a fourth domain: a spiritual one. It is how you find meaning, energy and a deep engagement with life. The ways we manage our mind is foundational to vitality, which is why mindfulness practices are so popular today. True mindfulness is about noticing what is being expressed in all these domains, not just the mental one.

Today, I will focus on the mental domain. Tuesday – the emotional; Wednesday – the physical, and Thursday – the spiritual. Friday we will do our follow-up check-in. Mental – Replace your undesired thought pattern with a different thought that will direct your subconscious mind in the direction you want to shift it.

Let’s take my example of “the enoughs” – not having enough, being enough, doing enough. Last week I got clear on where this message came from and now I am clear on how it has served me. It drives me to want to do more, have more and be more. This thought sets the context for how I respond or react to people or events. The positive is, I’m always striving to grow and better myself. The downside is, it can foster exhaustion and a chronic discontentment – to never be happy with who I am or where I am at, what I am doing or what I have.

The key of your next messaging is to get clear on the shift you want to create and craft a new mantra to say to yourself when the old message surfaces. The word mantra refers to where you project (focus) your mind. In crafting your message, ask yourself, how can I retain the benefits of my message (in my case: be better, do/have what I need to), without the downside (exhaustion and discontent)? Here are two possible directions to change my thoughts:

1. To accept who I am, what I do and what I have as is: ENOUGH
Thoughts can change to:
I am enough.
I have enough.
I do enough.
The focus here is on appreciating what is, not changing anything externally. Yet it results in external changes such as making decisions that come from an orientation of being satisfied versus dissatisfied.
Or even more powerful shifts would be to replace the word enough with mantras like:
I love and accept myself exactly as I am.
I have abundance.
I serve in full ways.

2. To recognize that who I am, what I do or what I have is MORE THAN ENOUGH:
I am more than enough – I can ratchet myself back.
I do more than enough – I can take things off my plate.
I have more than enough – I purge and declutter at home (stuff) or at work (projects, emails).
The intent here is to have the thoughts change behavior.

Write down your mantra. Place it in a prominent place – on your phone, on your desk, in your car, on your bathroom mirror. Say it outloud and silently to yourself. Repetition is key. You are rewiring your brain.

Your invitation this week, is to play with new messaging for yourself, working it in all domains: mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. What needs to shift in your life at work or at home? It starts with you.

© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.

Your Energetic Blueprint Runs The Show

I use the term energetic blueprint to refer to the imprinting you have that effects your energy field. Your energy field is the electromagnetic field that surrounds your body anywhere from 3-9 feet around you. How large it is reflects how vital or strong your life force is.

What you think, how you feel and what you put into, or on your body, all effect this field (i.e., drugs, alcohol, food, sex). If you don’t experience the right amount or quality of energy you want in your life, exploring how you manage your personal energy field could be beneficial for you.

What you think includes your mental model of the world – the rules you have that govern how you view the world and live your life. Some are unconscious and inherited by your conditioning, and some you consciously chose. The more aware you are of what you believe, why you believe it, and the effects these beliefs have on your emotions and your body, the more choice you have to keep or change something.

Examples of inherited influences are your parents (obvious and most profound), your schooling, religion, culture, and organizations for which you work. Mental thought patterns effect how you feel. Thoughts and emotions manifest in your body. Positive thoughts show up with ease of movement and more energy to live your life. Negative thoughts show up as undesired tension, illness, injury or disease. The word disease literally means dis-ease. You are not at ease with something. There is stress or tension in your body in a such a way that it creates secondary effects that your body tries to heal. The body will naturally strive toward equilibrium.

Ease or disease can start with a thought which then evokes an emotion which then creates a physical manifestation. It sounds linear and clear and clean but there may be back and forthing and overlap between these domains – mental, emotional, physical. The totality of these domains working synergistically create a vitality of spirit or strong electromagnetic field.

In this clip, Tony Robbins is able to help Kamilla become aware of the rules she has for her emotions and other people, and the negative impact it has on her life. He facilitates her awareness and shifts her energy. This is similar to the work I do with my clients in helping them identify, shift and release patterns in life or at work that are not serving them to enable greater productivity, satisfaction or joy.

© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.

Magic Monday: Part 2 of 3 – One Thought Experiment: Analyzing Your Conditioning

Words of Manic Monday by The Bangles and modified by Susan Shaner. Musician: Dan Brodax.

Where can you find the magic at work today?

Last week I asked you to notice your repetitive thought patterns. This raises your awareness, without judgment, about the thoughts that underlie your behavior.

I took it a step further and noted my thought pattern of “the enoughs” (be enough, have enough, do enough) wasn’t helpful. In this instance, when you identify a pattern that is not helpful or affirming, I recommend shifting it. The next step in shifting it is to understand the roots and the extensions of this thought.

The roots: Where does your thought pattern come from?

Most of the time, our thoughts are conditioned into us from external sources that are always sending us messages about how to think or behave, what’s acceptable, what we should want, etc. Often this conditioning hits us at an unconscious level. There are layers to this conditioning. Sources could be your parents, your family, the environment you grew up in, the culture you grew up in or currently live in, your schooling, your religion, the company or organization you work for, the media and so on.

The extensions: What memories or associations do you have with this thought? A thought evokes further thoughts or judgments or emotions. You could think the thought is a good or bad one. The thought might makes you happy, energized, angry or sad.

This week’s reflection: Explore and understand the thought pattern you noticed last week more deeply by analyzing you conditioning – where it originated from, and noting what subsequent thoughts or feelings emerge from holding this thought. Is this thought pattern helpful to you or not?

© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.

Follow up Friday: Noticing is Hard!!

On Monday, I asked you to JUST NOTICE. NOTHING ELSE!

Nothing to do or not do.

Just notice your thoughts.

How hard is this and not do anything about them?

How hard is this – and then to manage the emotions that surface as a result of these thoughts?

Hard.

Which is why we often would rather “dumb down.”
Aka Not pay attention.

When we pay attention, we notice things that may be hard …

Or we don’t like…
Or we want to change…
Or, etc.

Thoughts can bring up anxiety, fears and all sorts of emotions and judgments.

For me, I noticed I still have some residual of a thought pattern I have been working on for a while now. Sometimes these patterns can clear completely and sometimes they linger and are part of an enduring life lesson.

For me the recurring theme of thoughts had the word “enough” in it…. Be enough, have enough, do enough, earn enough, have enough stuff, etc… It was all about needing more of something. Wow, that can be exausting – to have it constantly running in the foreground or background of my mind. At some level, always nagging me.

Guess what I learned? I’m not alone! I have company with family, friends and clients who are also playing this broken record.

Time to shift it!

On Monday we’ll talk about the next step in creating a shift…

© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.

It’s Just Another Magic Monday! An Invitation to Notice & Shift

Magic Monday

A few weeks ago I introduced the term Magic Monday. I want to talk more about what I mean by this….This is a take off on the Bangles’s song Manic Monday.

I heard recently that 7 out of 10 people in the U.S. are miserable at their jobs. Wow. Really?

Those numbers are staggering! I can only imagine how difficult Monday Mornings are for those 70%. I’d like to start a movement where we think about creating magic at work – and get charged up on Mondays! We spend one third of our lives (or more) at work, why not have it be magical? I invite you to embrace and love the challenges that lie before you or within you.

Merriam Webster’s online dictionary defines magic as:
“a power that allows people (such as witches and wizards) to do impossible things by saying special words or performing special actions : tricks that seem to be impossible and that are done by a performer to entertain people : special power, influence, or skill… something that seems to cast a spell: Enchantment.”

These are powerful words. How could you become the wizard of your life? What would cast a spell over you so much so that you are enchanted with your work, workplace or the people in it? How can you influence your own thoughts and feelings regarding work to create renewed energy and perspective?

It all starts by noticing. Notice what IS working and great. Notice what is NOT working and painful. Become more aware. Wake up to your work life. You will either do something about what is not working, or you will appreciate what is working. Either way, you create change and you are the one who holds the magic to create the shift.

Each Monday I will share a thought, story, idea, model or way of looking at the world. I will end the post with a reflection question. Sit with the question and reflect on it all week and notice what comes up for you. On Friday I will follow up and share with you what I noticed in my life or my client’s lives. This not only promotes insight within yourself, but starts a dialogue to share collective insights.

You are invited to create magic. Will you join me?

This week’s reflection – what does magic mean to you and where do you notice it at play in your life?

© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.

Why is Change So Hard? Realistic Strategies and Compassion Required.

Dan Heath quotes a psychological study where two group of people are given different kinds of foods – one cookies, the other radishes. They are then asked to solve an insolvable puzzle. The high sugar group lasts 2 1/2 times longer than the vegetable group. I am a leadership/change consultant and a trained holistic health counselor/therapist so - I wonder if the radish group realized earlier on that the puzzle was unsolvable since they had healthy food in their systems!

I agree that change requires enormous energy and self control. We have so much energy to expend before we need to replenish, and so much self control before we have a meltdown. Individuals (and organizations) have a limited capacity of how much and what kind of change they can handle. You start with your desire, will and some advice/support on how to change. Then you try. If you don’t get the desired results, you either modify WHAT you are trying to change or HOW you are doing it. Change requires will, action and experimentation. To keep trying requires commitment.

Change is hard because energy and attention are finite resources. It can be easier when we realize that it is about creating different neural connections and/or rewiring well-grooved neural pathways in the brain (changing a habit).

Focusing your attention, repeatedly over time, literally changes the chemical circuitry in your brain. True, sustained change is hard because we often don’t “get it right” on the first, fifth or fiftieth time and we need encouragement, support and tools to stick with it until our brain gets with the program!  Staying focused on the positive, the outcome you want, versus what you are not getting, is the key. It’s as simple and hard as this.

© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.               www.sagelead.com