Managing Oneself: An Evolution in Human Affairs

I continue to highlight excerpts from Harvard Business Review’s book, On Managing Yourself. Peter Drucker’s article, “Managing Oneself,” gives a different perspective in how to stay engaged during the course of your working life.

Because it is more commonplace today for people to outlive the organizations for which they work, and to be mobile, “The need to manage oneself is therefore creating a revolution in human affairs.”
“Successful careers are not planned. They develop when people are prepared for opportunities because they know their strengths, their method of work, and their values.” It’s more effective to build on strengths than weaknesses.

Key questions to ask yourself:
What are my strengths?
How do I work? Understand how you learn and what environments you work best in.
What are my values? These answers help define what has purpose and meaning for you, which fosters your commitment to the work and organization.
Where do I belong?
What can I contribute?

The aspired to results should be meaningful, visible and measurable. “From this will come a course of action: what to do, where and how to start, and what goals and deadlines to set.”

Managing yourself requires you to take responsibility for relationships that will help make this work come to fruition. Organizations today are built on trust which requires that we also understand individuals with whom we work: their strengths, values, how they perform and their proposed contributions. How do you know this?  You ask those who you work closely with so you can best discern how to complement each other. For some people this can be threatening. The key is to focus on how best to leverage others’ strengths and support them in areas they are not as strong in.

This week’s reflection questions: Where do you need to take more responsibility for yourself – in owning and navigating your work and purpose? What could you do differently in communicating and partnering with others?

© Copyright 2016 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC. All rights Reserved.

Managing Yourself: How Will You Measure Your Life?

How’s this for a light question on a Friday afternoon?

The other day, while I was in Grand Central Station in New York City, parched and looking for water, I came across this fantastic book: On Managing Yourself – eleven articles from Harvard Business Review. They are short, insightful and impactful. I thought it could be enlightening to highlight one a week for a while.

This first one is by Clayton M. Christensen: How Will You Measure Your Life? He espouses that management can be one of the most noble professions. It enables people to understand how best to allocate resources which, when people apply the principles in their personal lives, can help them attain happiness at home

Key questions he poses:
How can I be happy in my career?
How can I be sure that my relationship with my family can be an enduring course of happiness?
How can I live my life with integrity?

Simple questions without always easy answers. Simple questions that require a strength, rigor and sense of adventure to live into the answers.

Just as in business, so too in life, it is important to be guided by a sense of purpose and be willing to balance short-term gain with long-term viability.

He says: “The key is to define what you stand for and draw the line in a safe place…The marginal cost of doing something wrong ‘just this once’ always seems alluringly low. You don’t see the end result to which that path leads.”

How long and hard have you thought about your purpose and what is your commitment to it? How do you define success on your terms? What are your non-negotiables on this path? What are triggers that entice you to stray? How do you stay focused?

© Copyright 2016 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC. All rights Reserved.

What is Coaching?

Coaching can be a powerful tool for developing leaders.

If you are thinking about coaching and want to know what it is, check out this short video that gives you a quick overview on what takes place in the process.

Coaching is about creating a partnership with a coach to help you articulate your vision. The coach gives you support and tools to help you navigate all the challenges and obstacles you will face in realizing your vision. There will be times when you are stretched so far outside your comfort zone that you aren’t sure you can reach your aspiration. Coaching can help you in creating a mindset shift to enable you to persevere, be creative and get the extra support you need to achieve your goals.

The coach does not give you the answers but the tools and support you need to the find the answers and strength within yourself.

© Copyright 2016 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC. All rights Reserved.

Leadership is About Courage and Conviction

I always remember what Jack Beach, a former IBM colleague of mine once said, “It’s easy to be a leader in good times. You just go along with the flow. The sign of a real leader is seen in difficult times.” Jack was also a Colonel in the Army, having served as a psychologist during Vietnam. So he knows from which he speaks.

Courage and Conviction are attributes of a strong leader. People can talk a good game but when it comes down to it, how many really stand up for what they believe – in times of trauma, despite what others think? How many push for real change not just an incremental shift?

I saw these attributes – courage and conviction – this week with my Senator, Chris Murphy. Regardless of where you stand on gun control, it’s clear we need to figure out a compromise between those focused on more guns and protecting their second rights amendments and those concerned about public safety.

Two weeks ago I Marched in Newtown, the next town over from me, for better gun control laws. I was astounded at some of the statistics cited during the speeches. For example, in the U.S. there have been over 100,000 lives lost in the 3 ½ years since Sandy Hook. I was also deeply effected by the stories and statistics highlighted in the documentary Under The Gun. If you haven’t watched it yet, I highly recommend it.

I don’t consider myself a political person but a person who cares deeply about people. I will fight for causes I believe in and get disheartened with politics and agendas focused only on profits.
Creating a safer country is something I am wholeheartedly behind and I want to thank Chris Murphy for being the brave one to not just say it, but act on it. We have had enough. Taking a stand in heated times may divide people. One thing I think we all can agree on: no one wants their brother, mother, sister, daughter, father shot in cold blood.

It takes courage and conviction to effect change when the country is divided. Thank you Chris Murphy for taking a stand.

© Copyright 2016 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC. All rights Reserved.

Breathe. You Have Arrived.

Breathe, You Have Arrived.

This is the sign that greeted me when I arrived at the Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health last weekend. I was there on a Kundalini yoga retreat. I practice and teach this form of yoga – not for my career, but probably because of it. What I mean is, it’s the pressures of life that fueled me to search for ways to unwind or better cope with my challenges.

The yoga lifestyle has given me tools and a way of being in the world that I wouldn’t have if I didn’t practice it. I teach yoga to master it. There is nothing like having to teach something that makes you really learn it.

First, and foremost, practicing yoga and meditation have given me a different relationship and experience of myself in relation to others and the world around me. “Breathe. You have arrived,” is geared toward people coming from the world to indicate they can now let go and relax because they are taking a break from it.

I saw so many ways to interpret this sign. When I pause to breathe deeply, I shift my energy to respond versus to react. Breathe, you’ve arrived at your destination in life – achieved what you hope to achieve. Once you’ve achieved a goal, you set your sights on a new goal. So, there is a never-ending sense that there is always something more to do or be.

After having a consistent practice for a number of years now, I finally really get why it is so important to breathe IN THE PROCESS of arriving, in the process of life. This enables us to be in the flow of life. We live in a culture that cultivates the necessity that achievement equals stress. Somehow if you aren’t stressed you can’t be achieving something of challenge or importance. When you are too stressed, it becomes near impossible to be really creative.

Some of the best advice I ever received is, you better ENJOY the work versus the title or thought of the work, otherwise you will be miserable and ultimately not effective.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately – what do I really enjoy? What excites me? What would I do even if I didn’t get paid for it?

I came back from this retreat feeling really refreshed, able to sink deeper into my practice and my life. Paradoxically it is the consistency and discipline of the practice that frees and lightens me up.

Reflection question: Where do you need to be breathing more deeply in your life? How can you be more present and lighter to the process of your life, not just focused on the end goal?

© Copyright 2016 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC. All rights Reserved.

Go Slow to Go Fast

What does it mean “go slow to go fast?” When I googled to find an image for this, I was amazed at how many words and images I found.

Here is what it means to me: when I am the most stressed, stretched or unfocused, it is precisely the time I need to slow down and regroup. And this is precisely when I am most resistant to doing it – it’s counter-intuitive and contrary to my conditioning. My thinking goes like this, “AH! I don’t have time! I have to speed up and get all these tings done. There are too many competing priorities.” This is where the illusion of time – and bending it – comes into play.

Time is very much a mental construct. We’ve all had experiences where time seems to painfully stretch out or goes by in a nanosecond. It is not the linear concept of time but our experience of it.

When I work with my clients, we balance WHAT is getting done – the results – with HOW it is getting done. Everyone wants to just focus on the results. When you do this at the expense of the how, paradoxically, you will not get the results that you seek.

Here’s an example: I am working with a senior leadership team to set an offsite strategy-planning meeting. It has taken a lot of discussion for them to agree they need this concentrated time together. It has taken a lot of coordination of calendars to set a date. Then when we finally get everyone in the room, it takes a lot to turn off laptops, cell phones and be fully present to the issues that need a concentrated focus. Once this happens, I have often witnessed teams changing either the work itself or how they address it. This includes the priorities – how they think about them and align to them – and how they feel about the work. Inevitably everyone leaves thinking and feeling differently.

This shift can surface as experiencing a reality check in terms of what it is really going to take to move forward – renewed hope, optimism or just being more in sync.

With all our technology and ways to speed up communication, there is nothing that takes the place of getting in a room together and hashing things out. This is slowing down. This enables you to make better, more bought into solutions. This alignment can save you weeks and months of misunderstandings, conflict or churn.

This week’s reflection question: Where do you individually or collectively need some time out to reflect, regroup and re-energize?

I am off to a yoga retreat for the holiday weekend here in the states. I have no doubt I will return refreshed and different. After all, recreation is where we get to re-create ourselves to bring fresh eyes to our work. This is resiliency and the key to sustained productivity.

© Copyright 2016 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC. All rights Reserved.

Leadership Tips from Bill Clinton

Bill Clinton shares his thoughts on what makes a great leader. He gives clear and varied examples from world leaders on four key aspects of leadership.

A great leader:
Envisions
Explains
Includes
Executes

A great leader explains “here’s where we are and here is where we ought to go.”
“You need to have a 30 second version, five minute, and 20 minute version of it.”
Clinton says our job today is to accelerate the positive ways in which we are interdependent and reduce the negative ways we are interdependent.

If you have a chance to listen to the whole talk, I recommend it. If not, then think about the ways in which you can implement his four key aspects in your own leadership.

© Copyright 2016 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC. All rights Reserved.

Focus Friday: Setting Your Day With Daily Rituals to Support Your Success

It has often been cited that successful people have daily rituals that they practice first thing in the morning that supports them in accomplishing their goals.

If you don’t have a daily ritual, I encourage you to discover one. If you do, I encourage you to revisit what you do and why you do it. Why? To make sure you are setting the right tone to your day – in terms of attitude, mindset and content. When I don’t practice my daily ritual first thing in the morning, my day is usually off. I am not at the top of my game.

Here is my daily ritual: Once I am aware I am awake, I practice alternate nostril breathing while lying in bed. This rebalances my brain. I get up, wash my face, brush my teeth and take a quick shower and have a glass of warm water with lemon. I then go into my home office and sit on the floor. I write in a journal listing all the people and things I am grateful for in my life and then do my Kundalini yoga and meditation practice.

If I wake up late or have an early meeting and can’t get my full practice in (45-75 minutes), I will do at least a 15 minute warm up and the rest later. It is a non-negotiable for me to do everyday. When I don’t do it first thing, it doesn’t set my day the same way.

Since there is often a lot that is uncertain or unresolved in my business, my practice helps me lower my anxiety. I will often open a couple of emails that are daily inspirational videos or quotes to give me a lift. I then go to my calendar and to do list I drafted the night before to determine where I start my workday.

I will admit there are days where I check my email on my phone while lying in bed or just before I wash my face. (I do not keep my phone by my bed but in the bathroom behind a closed door so I have to get up and get it). What happens when I do this? I am setting my day in a reaction versus proactive mode. It is enticing to be in this mode. It really requires discipline to not peak at all those emails. Some are junk and some are urgent but not important. In any case, it does not put me in the drivers seat for my day so I am working on eliminating doing this at all until I have finished my practice. But it can be so enticing!

What are positive ways you set your day? Where are you vulnerable to jumping in, in reaction mode before breakfast?

© Copyright 2016 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC. All rights Reserved.

Focus Friday: The Journey from Trauma to Nurturance – Dentists Who Lead In Creating a Nurturing Environment

Dentistry, leadership and nurturing environment. Do all these words really go together in one thought? I don’t know anyone, other than my daughter, who loves going to the dentist. Most people hate going, perhaps because they fear needles, pain, the drill sound or just the unknown.

I myself had a really bad experience about eight years ago. The dentist I had been going to retired, and someone bought his practice. At that time, I had been going to the practice for probably about fifteen years so I stayed and went to “the new guy.” After one or two visits, he discovered a cavity, which I don’t recall having in the previous fifteen years. Here is where it gets hairy.

Ever since I was two years old, I have had an aversion to needles. I was hospitalized with pneumonia and had so many shots of penicillin that it created a hole in my skin and in my psyche. Since then I was terrified of needles. Today, although not pleasant, I can tolerate a poke in the arm. My mouth is a different situation – I’m a sensitive type and have a sensitive nervous system. Even though I practice yoga, and have strengthened it, it’s still sensitive.

But at this time, I had not yet developed a consistent yoga practice and when I went to “the new guy” to fill my cavity, here is what happened: He gave me a shot in my gums. I don’t remember being given a local anesthetic and I don’t remember feeling particularly numb after the injection. When he started to drill, it really hurt. I tried to bear it. Pain is a relative thing. How does one really, objectively know their tolerance for pain? I always say that, even though I am sensitive, I must have a fairly high level of tolerance since, after all, “I gave birth to my daughter without medication.” Shouldn’t that count for some kind of hero’s acknowledgement? It certainly wasn’t a cakewalk and required perseverance, stamina and a gritty will.

Back to the drill. After a while, it was so unbearable, and I felt so vulnerable – there with my mouth open and unable to speak – that I started to groan in agony. The dentist had many options at that point. Here is what he did: he said, “You can feel that?”
What did he think, I was groaning for jollies?
I said, “Yes, I can.”
“You can’t feel that. You shouldn’t be able to feel that.”
“Well I can.”

I don’t remember what happened after that – if he gave me another shot or not. What I do remember is I felt traumatized and shamed. It was a small office and when I walked out, I felt people, including the receptionist, looking at me since they could hear my groans. Was I a baby?

Here is what I did: I wrote a letter to the dentist about my experience – what it felt like for me in his chair. I encouraged him to think differently about how he practiced. I told him I was leaving the practice and I never went back. I sought a holistic dentist who replaced half of my mercury fillings (all paid for out of pocket!) without the trauma. I didn’t do anymore as it was costly and I didn’t want to upset more mercury in my mouth.

A year later, I asked around and had a friend refer me to a dental practice that was covered by my insurance. I have been going to this practice for seven years now. On my first visit, I told the dentist about my previous experience and what I was looking for. She listened and gave me all the time in the world. On subsequent visits, the hygienist does most of the work and the dentist comes in to check – and always with a smile and something upbeat to say. In this timeframe I have only had one small cavity until last week when I needed a crown. I have never had anything other than cavities so I was nervous over this procedure.

I am writing about this today because I had an extraordinary experience that shifted my previous trauma and sense of being taken care of. What happened in this practice is unbelievable.
On the day of my crown, I made it clear how sensitive and nervous I was and reminded the dentist of my traumatic incident. They walked me through in detail everything they were going to do. They handled this procedure so differently than that day eight years ago. First, they gave me a local gel anesthetic before putting a needle in my mouth. Then, they used an instrument, not their judgment, to gauge my level of pain.

After giving me a couple of shots of Novocain, they placed an instrument on my tooth, and had me place my hand on the instrument with the doctor’s so I was in control. I could pull it away when I started to feel it. The way my system works, I didn’t do that but raised a leg instead. The doctor got the message. This instrument had a measure and I had to get up to a score of 80 before they felt it was safe to start to drill. They were surprised, but not upset about how long it took. She kept giving me small dosed shots of Novocain, waiting and checking on my level of sensation. I lost track after six shots. Finally I was ready.

Before they started to drill the dental assistant suggested I could use my iPod. I put in my earplugs and they started to drill. The high pitch of the drill affected me. No problem. She gave me a heavy set of headphones. I turned up my yoga music, closed my eyes and breathed deeply. A couple of times I had a moment of sensation. They stopped. My eyes started to tear. I couldn’t help it. A couple of times I apologized for taking so long and being “such a project.” It also helped that I had my partner there who rubbed my feet during most of the procedure.

The reaction from the dentist and dental assistant was, “no need to apologize. You are just sensitive.” It wasn’t, “you are too sensitive.” It is what it is. They said, “This isn’t bad. There are people who are worse. You just have a hot tooth. It’s not happy. It’s okay.”

A procedure I was told would take ninety minutes took three hours. No complaints or attitude from anyone in the office – just understanding and patience. This was healing for me on so many levels. The entire atmosphere felt accepting and nurturing. I never thought I would use that word for a dentist, but I do. Even the staff in the office were so pleasant, helping me navigate the last month of my dental insurance.

I was so touched when I left that I hugged the dental assistant and the dentist. I now do not have the same sense of dread for future procedures. Because my nerves were tended to with care, I have a lot of nerve for next time.

I also reflected on all of my experiences with this office over time and decided that an office doesn’t just get this way by itself. This is an environment that is set and cultivated by the doctors – the dentists and leaders of the practice are the ones who set the tone. There is a pervasive sense of friendliness and that they are there for the patients and that they really care. Care is the operative word. It’s the water everyone is swimming in, and it’s infectious. I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

© Copyright 2016 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC. All rights Reserved.

Focus Friday: Are you REALLY a Leader?

Are you REALLY a Leader?

What does it means to you to be a leader? Do you self identify as a leader? If so, how do you define what is unique about your leadership? If you don’t identify as a leader, why not?

My perspective is that everyone has leadership potential that gets conditioned into or out of them. Sometimes circumstances choose leaders. Sometimes people choose leaders, and sometimes people seek leadership.

Many of my clients are leaders and very successful at what they do – and some secretly aren’t confident or clear about their leadership impact or don’t readily identify themselves as a leader. They may not tell you this, but this is what gets revealed in a private conversation.

I have known people in significant leadership positions who feel like an imposter – one day they will be found out. This is more common that you might realize. I have also known people who are not in formal leadership positions, and don’t want to be – but they have a significant and positive impact on those around them. And of course there are those who would rather be in the background, and are terrified of leading, but will be the first one to criticize how someone else is leading.

Let’s be clear – leading, especially these days, is a very hard job. Leaders are held to a higher standard than everyone else. And the context for leading today is especially challenging. We are all almost constantly living in transition – from what was, to what could or needs to be. No matter your industry, all the old systems and ways of doing things no longer work or irrelevant. Some are excited and embrace this way of being, but many of us are overwhelmed or struggling to let go of the old and embrace the new. We are constantly pulled in a million directions challenged with focus, consistency and leading in ambiguous, uncertain times.

So, what does it mean to be a leader today?

Here’s my sense of what it means – you lead people or projects, or possess thought leadership that captures people’s attention and imagination. You have people who listen when you speak. They follow your direction. You have a positive impact on people.

Today people can lead from anywhere – working inside an organization, or being a consultant working with organizations. They can lead in their personal or private lives. How you self-identify is critical to what kind of energy you put out there – how you move forward and what kind of an impact you have on those listening to you.

This is exactly what I do with my clients – help them build clarity and a well-integrated sense of your identity as a leader. This leads to greater confidence, which leads to living in more ease, and having a deeper impact on your constituents.

My reflection questions for you this week/end: What do you stand for or want to be known for? How do you know you are having a positive impact on people? How is the impact you have on others connected to your greatest gift or talent? How can you deepen this impact?

© Copyright 2016 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.