Last Monday, I said I would post an entry every week on Magic Mondays, with a Follow-up Friday.
Sometimes we can have the best laid plans…
And then life hits us in the face.
I was getting ready to post a completely different blog entry today
when I got an email from a fellow yoga instructor, that stopped me in my
tracks. A friend of mine, who had gone through yoga teacher training
with us, was murdered by her husband last night during the lunar
eclipse.
I have been in shock and grieving ever since.
My original entry is not important now.
I last saw this friend, Lisa, on August 2nd, at a party
when she told me she was going to file for divorce. I suggested she
think carefully about how, where, when she would tell her husband as she
had some concerns about his reaction.
I texted her 12 days ago to check-in and see how she was doing. I did
not hear back so called and left a voicemail message last week. People
get busy and you eventually catch up with each other… or so you hope. My
heart goes out to Lisa and her family, particularly her four children –
who now have no parents.
It’s ironic that last week I was talking about guns, violence and
mental illness. Needless to say, I wasn’t productive after this news
today. Our yoga community supported each other via calls and emails. One
of our mutual friends and fellow instructor, came over and we hugged,
talked, did some healing meditations and said prayers for Lisa and her
family.
Being connected with family and friends helps with shock and grief –
so does talking, expressing, and trying to make sense of senseless acts.
I noticed I was judging myself because I broke down and cried. Why
wouldn’t I? It’s horrific news. Why was I judging myself at this time?
My reflection question for myself and others going through something similar:
What helps with exercising self-care in processing the loss and
senseless act of violence and looking for ways to help those effected?
© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.
Monday, September 28, 2015
Friday, September 25, 2015
Follow up Friday: Peace & Habits
In reflecting on the question this week, what is getting in the way
of experiencing more peace in my life, here is what I noticed: sometimes
I have difficulty letting go of the past, particularly memories,
emotions or ways of making meaning that are negative. When I recall such
thoughts, I don’t end up feeling good about myself, a person or a
situation. This gets in the way of constructive thinking and my being in
the present moment.
I also noticed that my habits serve and don’t serve me in experiencing more peace. For example, some of my habits around organization and bookkeeping could be more consistent and disciplined to reduce anxiety. Other mental habits around the way I think about myself could be more consistently positive. Occasionally my perfectionistic tendencies creep back in, which can result in negative self-talk or delayed action. However, I do tend to notice this earlier in my process and nudge myself to be more curious and comfortable with playing and experimenting instead of getting everything “just right,” more of the time instead.
What did you notice this week?
© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.
I also noticed that my habits serve and don’t serve me in experiencing more peace. For example, some of my habits around organization and bookkeeping could be more consistent and disciplined to reduce anxiety. Other mental habits around the way I think about myself could be more consistently positive. Occasionally my perfectionistic tendencies creep back in, which can result in negative self-talk or delayed action. However, I do tend to notice this earlier in my process and nudge myself to be more curious and comfortable with playing and experimenting instead of getting everything “just right,” more of the time instead.
What did you notice this week?
© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.
Monday, September 21, 2015
Grief & Peace: Recovery and Re-emergence
In honor of Global Peace Day & The Autumnal Equinox, I am restarting my blog.
The last time I wrote was the day of the Sandy Hook tragedy. I live 10 minutes from there and know many people directly effected by the events and the lives lost. In the last three years, I’ve learned much about myself and my community’s capacity to be resilient, to move from grief to finding some peace.
The first step to world peace is to create more peace within yourself. As Gandhi said, “be the change you wish to see in the world.”
I don’t know if it’s possible to find absolute peace. Maybe the point is to find more peace, more often and experience it longer. What I do know is, fostering peace starts with owning your thoughts, feelings and reactions. When we can manage what goes on within ourselves, we can better manage our outer world. So too, events outside ourselves trigger thoughts and emotions, so it is a constant dynamic process tending to inner reactions and outer events.
At the time of Sandy Hook I was already awash in my own grief struggling to stay focused on work while I processed numerous simultaneous personal losses (including death of my father, a close friend, and estrangement from some family members). I do not mean to put my personal losses in the same category as Sandy Hook. This was a horrific event that sent shock waves around the world. My point is that, for me, it added to an already full cup of grief and pain I was processing.
In the weeks that followed, I wanted to help so volunteered my services (in addition to leadership consulting, I also teach yoga, meditation and do energy healing work). Giving service helped me process and put my own life in perspective. My neighbors got active as well. There was much advocacy done to reduce gun violence and better address mental health services. There is still much work to be done – but progress has been made. When people are angry and grieving healing can be facilitated by taking action.
If we can tend to what is within us with care, we are better able to attend to what lies before us and lead with a fuller heart. Today, we need leaders to not just have the mental capacity to solve complex problems but those who “get it” – who bring compassion so solutions are more sustainable for us and the planet.
As with many of my neighbors, I’ve gone through my own personal transformation. This means: trans – formed – to go beyond how you were formed. Inherent in this is a searching, questioning and an internal reconfiguring. This process can bring tears and the expression of strong emotions, not just rationally plowing through getting stuff done on the long “to do” list. We live in a popular culture that does not understand grief and value the internal life – how to tend to our “being” vs. “doing.”
Invitation: Take inventory this week and notice what is holding you back from feeling more at peace in your life? What needs tending to in your inner life? Do you have unexpressed grief? Are you driving yourself to get everything done but really feel depleted and drained?
Just notice what comes up. I will reflect on these questions as well and share in a post on Friday.
© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.
The last time I wrote was the day of the Sandy Hook tragedy. I live 10 minutes from there and know many people directly effected by the events and the lives lost. In the last three years, I’ve learned much about myself and my community’s capacity to be resilient, to move from grief to finding some peace.
The first step to world peace is to create more peace within yourself. As Gandhi said, “be the change you wish to see in the world.”
I don’t know if it’s possible to find absolute peace. Maybe the point is to find more peace, more often and experience it longer. What I do know is, fostering peace starts with owning your thoughts, feelings and reactions. When we can manage what goes on within ourselves, we can better manage our outer world. So too, events outside ourselves trigger thoughts and emotions, so it is a constant dynamic process tending to inner reactions and outer events.
At the time of Sandy Hook I was already awash in my own grief struggling to stay focused on work while I processed numerous simultaneous personal losses (including death of my father, a close friend, and estrangement from some family members). I do not mean to put my personal losses in the same category as Sandy Hook. This was a horrific event that sent shock waves around the world. My point is that, for me, it added to an already full cup of grief and pain I was processing.
In the weeks that followed, I wanted to help so volunteered my services (in addition to leadership consulting, I also teach yoga, meditation and do energy healing work). Giving service helped me process and put my own life in perspective. My neighbors got active as well. There was much advocacy done to reduce gun violence and better address mental health services. There is still much work to be done – but progress has been made. When people are angry and grieving healing can be facilitated by taking action.
If we can tend to what is within us with care, we are better able to attend to what lies before us and lead with a fuller heart. Today, we need leaders to not just have the mental capacity to solve complex problems but those who “get it” – who bring compassion so solutions are more sustainable for us and the planet.
As with many of my neighbors, I’ve gone through my own personal transformation. This means: trans – formed – to go beyond how you were formed. Inherent in this is a searching, questioning and an internal reconfiguring. This process can bring tears and the expression of strong emotions, not just rationally plowing through getting stuff done on the long “to do” list. We live in a popular culture that does not understand grief and value the internal life – how to tend to our “being” vs. “doing.”
Invitation: Take inventory this week and notice what is holding you back from feeling more at peace in your life? What needs tending to in your inner life? Do you have unexpressed grief? Are you driving yourself to get everything done but really feel depleted and drained?
Just notice what comes up. I will reflect on these questions as well and share in a post on Friday.
© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.
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