Monday, October 12, 2015
It’s Just Another Magic Monday! An Invitation to Notice & Shift
Magic Monday
A few weeks ago I introduced the term Magic Monday. I want to talk more about what I mean by this….This is a take off on the Bangles’s song Manic Monday.
I heard recently that 7 out of 10 people in the U.S. are miserable at their jobs. Wow. Really?
Those numbers are staggering! I can only imagine how difficult Monday Mornings are for those 70%. I’d like to start a movement where we think about creating magic at work – and get charged up on Mondays! We spend one third of our lives (or more) at work, why not have it be magical? I invite you to embrace and love the challenges that lie before you or within you.
Merriam Webster’s online dictionary defines magic as:
“a power that allows people (such as witches and wizards) to do impossible things by saying special words or performing special actions : tricks that seem to be impossible and that are done by a performer to entertain people : special power, influence, or skill… something that seems to cast a spell: Enchantment.”
These are powerful words. How could you become the wizard of your life? What would cast a spell over you so much so that you are enchanted with your work, workplace or the people in it? How can you influence your own thoughts and feelings regarding work to create renewed energy and perspective?
It all starts by noticing. Notice what IS working and great. Notice what is NOT working and painful. Become more aware. Wake up to your work life. You will either do something about what is not working, or you will appreciate what is working. Either way, you create change and you are the one who holds the magic to create the shift.
Each Monday I will share a thought, story, idea, model or way of looking at the world. I will end the post with a reflection question. Sit with the question and reflect on it all week and notice what comes up for you. On Friday I will follow up and share with you what I noticed in my life or my client’s lives. This not only promotes insight within yourself, but starts a dialogue to share collective insights.
You are invited to create magic. Will you join me?
This week’s reflection – what does magic mean to you and where do you notice it at play in your life?
© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.
Monday, October 5, 2015
It’s Time: Gun Reform & Leadership
As I was grieving the death of my friend by gunshot, I heard about the mass shooting in Oregon. Another? Really?
Where is the leadership to keep us safe? I applaud President Obama’s response. But we need congress to get beyond their ideological differences and come together to pass some legislation that would make a difference. They would feel differently if their child was in Oregon or Newtown or Columbine and they were dealing with personal trauma.
There has been 994 mass shootings in 1,004 days in this country. We have become numb to the statistics and stories of those effected.
WAKE UP!
As Obama said, “The United States of America is the one advanced nation on Earth in which we do not have sufficient common-sense gun-safety laws — even in the face of repeated mass killings.”
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?
Our “right to bear arms” was created over 200 years ago, and the kind of arms referenced were for killing an intruder, not machines meant to kill large numbers of people in warfare.
Dr. Pamela Wible discusses the disparity between what a doctor must do to do practice medicine and what a person must do to purchase a gun. Yes, these are different – practicing medicine and shooting guns. One heals and the other kills.
Where is the leadership to effect change and better protect our citizens? This can only be done with gun reform – look at who is allowed to purchase a gun and what kind of skill they need to utilize this equipment. Most machines require that you have training and a license to operate. Ask any forklift driver.
To purchase or operate a car a person must register it, pay for insurance and get a license, which requires training and passing a test. I don’t understand why we don’t require two things for someone purchasing a gun: a background check on prior convictions or mental illness and proof of training to operate. And why should military guns be made available for public purchase?
My reflection question for Magic Monday is: What is one thing you can do to make our country safer?
© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.
Where is the leadership to keep us safe? I applaud President Obama’s response. But we need congress to get beyond their ideological differences and come together to pass some legislation that would make a difference. They would feel differently if their child was in Oregon or Newtown or Columbine and they were dealing with personal trauma.
There has been 994 mass shootings in 1,004 days in this country. We have become numb to the statistics and stories of those effected.
WAKE UP!
As Obama said, “The United States of America is the one advanced nation on Earth in which we do not have sufficient common-sense gun-safety laws — even in the face of repeated mass killings.”
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?
Our “right to bear arms” was created over 200 years ago, and the kind of arms referenced were for killing an intruder, not machines meant to kill large numbers of people in warfare.
Dr. Pamela Wible discusses the disparity between what a doctor must do to do practice medicine and what a person must do to purchase a gun. Yes, these are different – practicing medicine and shooting guns. One heals and the other kills.
Where is the leadership to effect change and better protect our citizens? This can only be done with gun reform – look at who is allowed to purchase a gun and what kind of skill they need to utilize this equipment. Most machines require that you have training and a license to operate. Ask any forklift driver.
To purchase or operate a car a person must register it, pay for insurance and get a license, which requires training and passing a test. I don’t understand why we don’t require two things for someone purchasing a gun: a background check on prior convictions or mental illness and proof of training to operate. And why should military guns be made available for public purchase?
My reflection question for Magic Monday is: What is one thing you can do to make our country safer?
© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.
Friday, October 2, 2015
Follow up Friday: What Helps With Processing Shock & Grief
Monday’s post asked the question: what helps with exercising
self-care in processing grief and looking for ways to help those
effected by the loss of a loved one? In my own reflection I noticed:
Recognizing this is important – grieving is a process and has a timing all it’s own. I need to be kind and gentle with myself. The sadness and grief I feel for my friend Lisa reverberates and makes grief from past losses available in the present. It’s like a cumulative effect. A friend said it this way: “loss intensifies as you get older because you have more experience and therefore more losses.” Processing loss is a needed skill to fully embrace life.
I also felt shock and trauma from the way in which Lisa died: shot by her husband, in her home, with possibly two of her four children present. I still don’t yet have details about what happened except he drove away afterward. Periodically it would hit me that she is gone. My friends and I kept rewinding our conversations wishing there was something we could have done to prevent it – and accepting there isn’t.
I had moments of crying, wondering: Did she know? Did she suffer? How could he leave her to die? How are her children? I kept checking the news to see if any additional information was available on a service or to learn of any new details on what happened. I was grasping for a sense of control by trying to understand something incomprehensible. Ultimately I felt powerless and sad for her children.
I noticed when I pay attention to the absence of my friend, my grief intensifies. When it felt too much to bear, I reached out to others to help me process and hold it all. It helps to talk to mutual friends. I was surprised by some people who reached out to me. One friend said, “I don’t even know the women and it’s effecting me so much – so sad.”
I realized it is important to work with my mind to embrace life-affirming qualities. Breathing deeply helps me embrace the pain allowing it to wash over. Paying attention to what is present versus absent helps. It allows me to appreciate the presence of love, beauty and awareness to balance the loss and give me relief.
What could I do to help her children? I sent them thoughts and prayers and contributed to a Go Fund Me page to pay for care they will need to heal.
What did you notice in reflecting on how you process grief?
© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.
Recognizing this is important – grieving is a process and has a timing all it’s own. I need to be kind and gentle with myself. The sadness and grief I feel for my friend Lisa reverberates and makes grief from past losses available in the present. It’s like a cumulative effect. A friend said it this way: “loss intensifies as you get older because you have more experience and therefore more losses.” Processing loss is a needed skill to fully embrace life.
I also felt shock and trauma from the way in which Lisa died: shot by her husband, in her home, with possibly two of her four children present. I still don’t yet have details about what happened except he drove away afterward. Periodically it would hit me that she is gone. My friends and I kept rewinding our conversations wishing there was something we could have done to prevent it – and accepting there isn’t.
I had moments of crying, wondering: Did she know? Did she suffer? How could he leave her to die? How are her children? I kept checking the news to see if any additional information was available on a service or to learn of any new details on what happened. I was grasping for a sense of control by trying to understand something incomprehensible. Ultimately I felt powerless and sad for her children.
I noticed when I pay attention to the absence of my friend, my grief intensifies. When it felt too much to bear, I reached out to others to help me process and hold it all. It helps to talk to mutual friends. I was surprised by some people who reached out to me. One friend said, “I don’t even know the women and it’s effecting me so much – so sad.”
I realized it is important to work with my mind to embrace life-affirming qualities. Breathing deeply helps me embrace the pain allowing it to wash over. Paying attention to what is present versus absent helps. It allows me to appreciate the presence of love, beauty and awareness to balance the loss and give me relief.
What could I do to help her children? I sent them thoughts and prayers and contributed to a Go Fund Me page to pay for care they will need to heal.
What did you notice in reflecting on how you process grief?
© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.
Monday, September 28, 2015
Working with Grief & Shock
Last Monday, I said I would post an entry every week on Magic Mondays, with a Follow-up Friday.
Sometimes we can have the best laid plans…
And then life hits us in the face.
I was getting ready to post a completely different blog entry today when I got an email from a fellow yoga instructor, that stopped me in my tracks. A friend of mine, who had gone through yoga teacher training with us, was murdered by her husband last night during the lunar eclipse.
I have been in shock and grieving ever since.
My original entry is not important now.
I last saw this friend, Lisa, on August 2nd, at a party when she told me she was going to file for divorce. I suggested she think carefully about how, where, when she would tell her husband as she had some concerns about his reaction.
I texted her 12 days ago to check-in and see how she was doing. I did not hear back so called and left a voicemail message last week. People get busy and you eventually catch up with each other… or so you hope. My heart goes out to Lisa and her family, particularly her four children – who now have no parents.
It’s ironic that last week I was talking about guns, violence and mental illness. Needless to say, I wasn’t productive after this news today. Our yoga community supported each other via calls and emails. One of our mutual friends and fellow instructor, came over and we hugged, talked, did some healing meditations and said prayers for Lisa and her family.
Being connected with family and friends helps with shock and grief – so does talking, expressing, and trying to make sense of senseless acts. I noticed I was judging myself because I broke down and cried. Why wouldn’t I? It’s horrific news. Why was I judging myself at this time?
My reflection question for myself and others going through something similar:
What helps with exercising self-care in processing the loss and senseless act of violence and looking for ways to help those effected?
© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.
Sometimes we can have the best laid plans…
And then life hits us in the face.
I was getting ready to post a completely different blog entry today when I got an email from a fellow yoga instructor, that stopped me in my tracks. A friend of mine, who had gone through yoga teacher training with us, was murdered by her husband last night during the lunar eclipse.
I have been in shock and grieving ever since.
My original entry is not important now.
I last saw this friend, Lisa, on August 2nd, at a party when she told me she was going to file for divorce. I suggested she think carefully about how, where, when she would tell her husband as she had some concerns about his reaction.
I texted her 12 days ago to check-in and see how she was doing. I did not hear back so called and left a voicemail message last week. People get busy and you eventually catch up with each other… or so you hope. My heart goes out to Lisa and her family, particularly her four children – who now have no parents.
It’s ironic that last week I was talking about guns, violence and mental illness. Needless to say, I wasn’t productive after this news today. Our yoga community supported each other via calls and emails. One of our mutual friends and fellow instructor, came over and we hugged, talked, did some healing meditations and said prayers for Lisa and her family.
Being connected with family and friends helps with shock and grief – so does talking, expressing, and trying to make sense of senseless acts. I noticed I was judging myself because I broke down and cried. Why wouldn’t I? It’s horrific news. Why was I judging myself at this time?
My reflection question for myself and others going through something similar:
What helps with exercising self-care in processing the loss and senseless act of violence and looking for ways to help those effected?
© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.
Friday, September 25, 2015
Follow up Friday: Peace & Habits
In reflecting on the question this week, what is getting in the way
of experiencing more peace in my life, here is what I noticed: sometimes
I have difficulty letting go of the past, particularly memories,
emotions or ways of making meaning that are negative. When I recall such
thoughts, I don’t end up feeling good about myself, a person or a
situation. This gets in the way of constructive thinking and my being in
the present moment.
I also noticed that my habits serve and don’t serve me in experiencing more peace. For example, some of my habits around organization and bookkeeping could be more consistent and disciplined to reduce anxiety. Other mental habits around the way I think about myself could be more consistently positive. Occasionally my perfectionistic tendencies creep back in, which can result in negative self-talk or delayed action. However, I do tend to notice this earlier in my process and nudge myself to be more curious and comfortable with playing and experimenting instead of getting everything “just right,” more of the time instead.
What did you notice this week?
© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.
I also noticed that my habits serve and don’t serve me in experiencing more peace. For example, some of my habits around organization and bookkeeping could be more consistent and disciplined to reduce anxiety. Other mental habits around the way I think about myself could be more consistently positive. Occasionally my perfectionistic tendencies creep back in, which can result in negative self-talk or delayed action. However, I do tend to notice this earlier in my process and nudge myself to be more curious and comfortable with playing and experimenting instead of getting everything “just right,” more of the time instead.
What did you notice this week?
© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.
Monday, September 21, 2015
Grief & Peace: Recovery and Re-emergence
In honor of Global Peace Day & The Autumnal Equinox, I am restarting my blog.
The last time I wrote was the day of the Sandy Hook tragedy. I live 10 minutes from there and know many people directly effected by the events and the lives lost. In the last three years, I’ve learned much about myself and my community’s capacity to be resilient, to move from grief to finding some peace.
The first step to world peace is to create more peace within yourself. As Gandhi said, “be the change you wish to see in the world.”
I don’t know if it’s possible to find absolute peace. Maybe the point is to find more peace, more often and experience it longer. What I do know is, fostering peace starts with owning your thoughts, feelings and reactions. When we can manage what goes on within ourselves, we can better manage our outer world. So too, events outside ourselves trigger thoughts and emotions, so it is a constant dynamic process tending to inner reactions and outer events.
At the time of Sandy Hook I was already awash in my own grief struggling to stay focused on work while I processed numerous simultaneous personal losses (including death of my father, a close friend, and estrangement from some family members). I do not mean to put my personal losses in the same category as Sandy Hook. This was a horrific event that sent shock waves around the world. My point is that, for me, it added to an already full cup of grief and pain I was processing.
In the weeks that followed, I wanted to help so volunteered my services (in addition to leadership consulting, I also teach yoga, meditation and do energy healing work). Giving service helped me process and put my own life in perspective. My neighbors got active as well. There was much advocacy done to reduce gun violence and better address mental health services. There is still much work to be done – but progress has been made. When people are angry and grieving healing can be facilitated by taking action.
If we can tend to what is within us with care, we are better able to attend to what lies before us and lead with a fuller heart. Today, we need leaders to not just have the mental capacity to solve complex problems but those who “get it” – who bring compassion so solutions are more sustainable for us and the planet.
As with many of my neighbors, I’ve gone through my own personal transformation. This means: trans – formed – to go beyond how you were formed. Inherent in this is a searching, questioning and an internal reconfiguring. This process can bring tears and the expression of strong emotions, not just rationally plowing through getting stuff done on the long “to do” list. We live in a popular culture that does not understand grief and value the internal life – how to tend to our “being” vs. “doing.”
Invitation: Take inventory this week and notice what is holding you back from feeling more at peace in your life? What needs tending to in your inner life? Do you have unexpressed grief? Are you driving yourself to get everything done but really feel depleted and drained?
Just notice what comes up. I will reflect on these questions as well and share in a post on Friday.
© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.
The last time I wrote was the day of the Sandy Hook tragedy. I live 10 minutes from there and know many people directly effected by the events and the lives lost. In the last three years, I’ve learned much about myself and my community’s capacity to be resilient, to move from grief to finding some peace.
The first step to world peace is to create more peace within yourself. As Gandhi said, “be the change you wish to see in the world.”
I don’t know if it’s possible to find absolute peace. Maybe the point is to find more peace, more often and experience it longer. What I do know is, fostering peace starts with owning your thoughts, feelings and reactions. When we can manage what goes on within ourselves, we can better manage our outer world. So too, events outside ourselves trigger thoughts and emotions, so it is a constant dynamic process tending to inner reactions and outer events.
At the time of Sandy Hook I was already awash in my own grief struggling to stay focused on work while I processed numerous simultaneous personal losses (including death of my father, a close friend, and estrangement from some family members). I do not mean to put my personal losses in the same category as Sandy Hook. This was a horrific event that sent shock waves around the world. My point is that, for me, it added to an already full cup of grief and pain I was processing.
In the weeks that followed, I wanted to help so volunteered my services (in addition to leadership consulting, I also teach yoga, meditation and do energy healing work). Giving service helped me process and put my own life in perspective. My neighbors got active as well. There was much advocacy done to reduce gun violence and better address mental health services. There is still much work to be done – but progress has been made. When people are angry and grieving healing can be facilitated by taking action.
If we can tend to what is within us with care, we are better able to attend to what lies before us and lead with a fuller heart. Today, we need leaders to not just have the mental capacity to solve complex problems but those who “get it” – who bring compassion so solutions are more sustainable for us and the planet.
As with many of my neighbors, I’ve gone through my own personal transformation. This means: trans – formed – to go beyond how you were formed. Inherent in this is a searching, questioning and an internal reconfiguring. This process can bring tears and the expression of strong emotions, not just rationally plowing through getting stuff done on the long “to do” list. We live in a popular culture that does not understand grief and value the internal life – how to tend to our “being” vs. “doing.”
Invitation: Take inventory this week and notice what is holding you back from feeling more at peace in your life? What needs tending to in your inner life? Do you have unexpressed grief? Are you driving yourself to get everything done but really feel depleted and drained?
Just notice what comes up. I will reflect on these questions as well and share in a post on Friday.
© Copyright 2015 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Newtown Shooting & Every Parent’s Worst Nightmare
My daughter is in high school, the next town over, 15 minutes from
the shootings. I received a recorded call about 11:00, “Schools are on
lockdown due to the situation at Newtown.” I had no idea what was gong
on.
I don’t have a TV so searched online for “news Newtown CT.” Ironically while this was unfolding, my cable company came and I obtained TV for the first time in 2 years. The timing was fortunate in that I was able to quickly pull up the news and am watching the news unfold as I write this.
Our modern age has boundaries more porous than ever. The fact that this gunman was able to get into the school is unbelievable. Also, I was able to text my daughter and reassure her. She told me they didn’t have a lot of news but were in their classrooms carrying on class and the teacher and students were online trying to get news.
At first, it was just the gunman dead. Then one child dead. Now they are saying 27 people dead, 18 of them children. As I write this the numbers are changing. The gunman is 20 years old. These are elementary school students!
It’s been 13 years since Columbine – and this appears to be many more lives. I’m all for freedom of rights but how many more of our children need to be killed before we look more seriously at gunlaws?
The world has become a scarier place with many people in pain and taking it out on those around them. How do we simultaneously protect our children, observe, notice and treat those in pain? How many more children need to die before better actions are taken?
As part of my yoga community, I was planning a healing circle tonight. Now we will have a much fuller circle – of shock and pain join us.
© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.
I don’t have a TV so searched online for “news Newtown CT.” Ironically while this was unfolding, my cable company came and I obtained TV for the first time in 2 years. The timing was fortunate in that I was able to quickly pull up the news and am watching the news unfold as I write this.
Our modern age has boundaries more porous than ever. The fact that this gunman was able to get into the school is unbelievable. Also, I was able to text my daughter and reassure her. She told me they didn’t have a lot of news but were in their classrooms carrying on class and the teacher and students were online trying to get news.
At first, it was just the gunman dead. Then one child dead. Now they are saying 27 people dead, 18 of them children. As I write this the numbers are changing. The gunman is 20 years old. These are elementary school students!
It’s been 13 years since Columbine – and this appears to be many more lives. I’m all for freedom of rights but how many more of our children need to be killed before we look more seriously at gunlaws?
The world has become a scarier place with many people in pain and taking it out on those around them. How do we simultaneously protect our children, observe, notice and treat those in pain? How many more children need to die before better actions are taken?
As part of my yoga community, I was planning a healing circle tonight. Now we will have a much fuller circle – of shock and pain join us.
© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.
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